


Divided We Rise, Together We Fall

by OnettOnslaught



Series: Divided We Rise, Together We Fall [1]
Category: Original Work, Red Warfare
Genre: Gen, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-01-18 01:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12378537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnettOnslaught/pseuds/OnettOnslaught
Summary: A short story inspired by a minecraft community I joined a while back.





	1. Rise of Nations

Ever since the beginnings of civilization, a preeminent rivalry arose. Two nations were pitted against each other by the cruelest of fates. There was no rest, there was no peace. They lived for war, they thrived off war, and there was never enough of it. In a lush valley, long long ago, two civilizations formed, each on opposing hills. The kingdoms known only as red and blue loathed each other. Daily, the red and the blue would march their men to war. Both sides would meet eye to eye atop the hills, and they would charge down. Their soldiers met in the dip, and they would fight tirelessly. No retreat was ever called, for all that mattered was victory. The deceased were left to rot in the well of the valley, and the pile of bodies within it grew more and more massive, as the kings continued to send their soldiers into an unwinnable war. The Kings watched atop their high towers, the deaths of the soldiers only acting as a small morsel to the greedy demons within them that only howled for more bloodshed. Every day was the same. Assemble ranks, charge, die. The valley became more and more full with corpses and skeletons. Despite this, the kings pursued war-driven agenda and pushed on. Yet, both sides were dying from the inside, and everyone except the leaders knew of it. The people were starving, sick, broken, beaten, restless, yet the fighting went on. Every night was dark and cold. They howled at their nation’s rulers in their ivory towers, who were fat, and jolly; careless of the suffering of their people. They screamed, “Help us! Save us!” Their voices were silenced. They begged, “We will do anything for a bite to eat! Save us!” Their requests were ignored. Yet the fight went on, and the kings scoffed as they sent their pawns to their death again and again. Riots broke out, and rebellions formed. The citizens of the kingdoms found themselves caught in an endless free for all for survival. Brother against sister, sons against fathers; all that mattered was survival. Many feared for their lives and fled their nations, but others stayed and fought on, determined to rise to the top and survive. Their kingdoms had fallen, and only at this moment, the rulers finally opened their eyes and saw all the corruption in their kingdoms. Dread hung over them as they tried to reconcile. The Kings screamed, bargained, bribed, but it wasn’t enough. The barrier protecting him from the ravenous people had been broken. Splinters flew across the air as the people poured in, armed with clubs and rocks.   
  
The kings sputtered, “Please… just let me live another day! I swear this will not happen again! I’ll make sure to- Hey get your hands off me! What are you-” The people grabbed the king and clasped their hands over his mouth. The Kings’ screams boomed across the entire valley, as the people of the valley slowly ended the tyrants who had brought only pain and suffering into their life. Their clubs bashed one at a time, each bash producing a heart-wrenching shriek. Slowly but surely, the wicked kings were put to rest.  
  
They looked across the valley filled to the brim with bodies of dead soldiers. At the opposing hill, they saw each other. For some reason, they felt a deep hate for each other. “They’re the enemy.” Said the people. “Who else is there to blame?” Ironically, the one thing the people had attempted to cease, simply ignited a hunger for the one thing sitting inside them all. Violence.  
  
The ravaged people stared at each other from the ivory towers. They hurled insults at each other from their high places. The red nation screamed, “You’ll pay for this! Criminals! Murderers!”  
     
The blue nation exclaimed in reply, “Blasphemy! You brought this upon us!”  
  
“Disgusting, vile lies!” The red nation shouted back. They bickered back and forth, hurling childish insults at each other until their voices grew hoarse and they could scream no longer. The sun had already set by the time they stopped, so both sides stopped and retreated for the night. They lay hungry, sick, and bruised in the ramshackle remains of their kingdoms; yet this night was not sleepless. A beast had found shelter in these people, and it gave them satisfaction. They lay, staring at the stars, curious of what the next day would bring until sleep took them over swiftly like an assassin in the night.  
  
They awoke to the sounds of birds chirping, and screeching as they were quickly shot out of the air by rocks, thrown by the starving people of the land. The birds would make a soft thud on the grass as the ravaged people would proceed to rip their tiny guts up into little pieces to prepare them for cooking. Makeshift tents were set up, campfires were made, and the people of the valley enjoyed a meal of small bird meat. It was a pleasant moment of peace between both nations. How long would it last?  
  
After a meager breakfast, the people of the blue kingdom began planning, for they knew they that idleness would only bring strife. So they split and took a responsibility. The men went out and hunt, the women took care of the children, and the children waddled around and played little games with their mates. All was well for these people. They knew not of a better life. Survival was enough for the people of the blue kingdom. Every day was lived with a purpose, no idling, no breaks. In the morning they toiled: farming, building, hunting, then slept early and woke early for another day of more hard work.   
  
Years of monotonous work pass, and soon enough the people of the blue nation grew tireless. What had their lives become? Where have they gone? What is their purpose? Is this all life had to offer? “Surely there is so much left to discover in the world.” They thought. The people didn't know why they lived, and why they were there. For so long survival had been what their brains craved. Now that survival is easy, what now? What was left for them in life? These thoughts rushed through the brains of the people without end. They were haunted by these thoughts at every waking moment. The nagging voice in their heads caused them to become restless and insane. They lay awake some nights, trying to mute the voice inside them but, their attempts were unsuccessful. Many sleepless nights later, the people decided they’d had enough, so they planned a meeting so they could discuss their thoughts.  
  
At first, it was awkward and silent. The people sat around in a large circle around the circle just before sunset. Everyone stared at one another, waiting for someone to take initiative. The men fidget around, for they were not used to be part of such sedentary activity. The sun sets. More silence.  
  
Suddenly, a voice appeared from outside the circle. “Surely, there is more to life.” Said an old man with a faint, yet calming voice. Everyone’s eyes darted at the tent he was lying down in. He got up and sat up to face all the youth around him. He was a weak, pathetic being. He wore wrinkled skin and pale sunken eyes. He waved his finger towards them and said, “You are our future. Please. Explore, experiment, discover. I promise to you that there is so much more to life than survival. You just have to seek it.”  
  
The men stared at the old man and nodded obediently. They return to their awkward silence. The fire crackled quietly as the moon began to peek over the hill.   
  
A young man’s voice erupted suddenly, “Impossible. Simply impossible.” The crowd’s eyes shot towards the young man this time. “So what if we discover something never found before? How can we ensure these discoveries will bring good into our lives?” Whispering broke out amongst the other people at the camp. Their eyes would look at the young man, then they would shift them to the old man with an anxious look on their faces. The young man took a deep sigh and continued on. “If we are living our lives this way then it must be a reason.” He pointed at the sky. “Whoever is up there pulling the strings knows, but we don't. We can never be corrupt if we don't allow corrupt things in our lives, you see? Look! We have everything we need here! Water! Food! Shelter! Now what? Do we need more? To fulfill our selfish desires?” The people stared at the young man, who had gotten up from his place in the circle in excitement.  
  
The old man stared at the young man with his ominous glassy eyes and began to speak once more. “I could argue with you all day about this boy, but I want you to understand something. Life is gonna bore you to death if you go on this way. Work, sleep, work, sleep until the day you die. Is that what you want? Let me answer for you, no. Who cares about corruption? This is our destiny. We weren't made to stay in one place in life, we were made to go places. Come on my friend, let us go out and seek.” He reached his hand out to the young man. They shook hands, and they smiled. The moon shone brightly above them, so the people silently agreed to fall in for the night. For once their rest was not disturbed by the nagging voice, it vanished, and was never heard from again.  
  
The red kingdom was in complete disarray. Blood splattered on the ground; dirt and grime were everywhere. The body of their king was stabbed in a large spike in the ground for all to see. Small tents were set up around the perimeter of the city walls, and the open area in the center housed tens of men, fighting for who knows what. They hurled insults at each other as they dived and swung their fists at each other. “Weak!” One man said.  
  
Another man turned around and punched him square in the jaw. “Who are you callin weak?”  
  
Another fighter leaped into the air and drove his elbow into his face. “Fools! None of you are stronger than me!” Of course, this taunt caused other men to target this man. This pattern of hit, then get hit persisted throughout the whole fight. They fought on until the moon shone brightly in the air, and their bodies were numb with pain. They retreated to their tents, where they skipped all the nonsense like speaking to their wife and kids, and went straight to their cot for sleep.  
  
They awoke whenever they wanted to, and hunted whenever they wanted to. They would always travel in different directions, for competition for food was extremely high and doing so would reap the most benefits. The food was sacred in this kingdom. Food is what gave them energy, it's what gave them life. Their lives, along with the lives of their families depended on their hunting. Wives and children would awake to the screams of dying animals and sometimes a screech of a human. After all, a man’s gotta eat; even if it's at the cost of another man. Their lives were simple. Hunt, fight, sleep; their wives would take care of the rest.  
  
The people lived their regular lives in their kingdoms. The blue nation sought new destinies, whilst the red accepted theirs and lived according to it. All was quiet between them until one day, warriors from the red nation crossed the river crossed the river of bodies and they screamed at the blue nation, “Come! Send your greatest warriors to compete! Show us your strength!” The blue hesitated but came to the consensus that they should participate. They sent 3 of their hunters to battle the 3 men of the red nation. The red warriors laughed and booed at the blue hunters, as they were lead to the river of bodies, which they were abruptly shoved into. The blue people began to look pale, and they vomited in disgust. The red nation watched from their hill and the blue nation from their hill. The red nation hollered at the pathetic blue warriors, but they quickly recovered and prepared for the fight. The red nation carried great steel swords, while the blue nation carried small spears and bows. The red nation came charging in, swords in the air and their voices screaming. The blue team simply backed up and readied their bows for firing. They steadied themselves, pointed, then shot. Their arrows hit all three red soldiers in their foreheads, and they dropped dead in the river of bodies. The blue nation cheered from their side as their champions climbed out of the hole. Meanwhile, on the other side of the valley, the red nation hurled insults. “Unfair! Dishonorable!”  
  
The blue nation screamed to the red. “How about we have this battle once more next year! Then, we shall truly see who the victor is!” The red nation nodded in approval and they retreated back to their kingdom.   
  
This tournament went on annually, evolving every year. New rules, restrictions on weapons; it soon became an annual reunion of red and blue, where they can sit next to each other and relax while they watch the gladiators in the pit fight to the death. The tournament became known as Red Warfare. Named after the red nation’s warfare against the blue nation that one fateful day.   
  
Fast forward to the present, the year 2068. Both kingdoms expanded immensely. They were still divided by the valley of bodies, which acted as a border. It was buried in dirt, which is the closest thing to a burial that these people would get. At the center of the border of the two kingdoms, was the red warfare arena, where the annual red warfare match would be held. Nations would join together and watch people from their nation fight to the death. What fun.   
  
Both kingdoms still loathed each other deeply. Their kingdoms were also surrounded by high walls to keep the quote unquote “rebel scum” out. Sentry men were on watch 24/7, armed with sub machine guns with way too much ammunition. Mostly the nights were silent on both sides, the people knew better than to run in solo and be put at the mercy of their sworn enemies. Due to the new arena, the fights were brought elsewhere. From the barren deserts to the snowy mountains, the fighting refused to cease. Yet no progress was made, for it was an endless stalemate. No hope, no peace.


	2. Feel Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feel Good Inc. was inspired by the gorillaz song, Feel Good Inc. Same sort of concept, both of them represent escapism.

The blue nation grew wise and became obsessed with seeking knowledge. It began immediately began after their search for a new destiny. They observed the creatures of the earth and marveled at them. While some continued on with their jobs as resource gatherers, others spent their days studying the earth. They examined the small insects beneath their feet, the clouds in the sky, and the soil they stood on. If they saw something unknown, they would research it ruthlessly. Teams of people would stay up for multiple nights to discover the secrets the universe tried to hide from them. Their research grew more and more in-depth and revolutionary. One by one, they conquered nature’s challenges. They learned of the patterns in the countless stars in the sky. One man learned to harness the wind. Another learned to harness electricity. Soon enough people grew tired of the petty annoyances that mother nature bothered them with, so they began their campaign to gain complete control over the earth in which they stood on. At first they built small things.Streets were paved, and towers were built so high it seemed as if they touched the sky. Every patch of grass was uprooted to make room for more and more buildings. They expanded outwards, covering the earth they once adored in a thick layer of tar and concrete in order to satisfy their hunger for control, yet it was not enough. They weren't producing fast enough. Not enough. Factories were erected: large smokestacks wheezed noxious gasses into the air, creating dark smog that blocked out the blue skies.   
  
Despite the pollution and modernization that corrupted the nation, people still clustered towards the blue nation. Some seeked higher education, while others looked for simpler work. It certainly was a refuge to all those who fled their war ridden countries, for the modern lifestyle was unheard of in other nations. People of all species and nationalities flocked towards the blue city  
  
The people of this nation fell into an endless routine; each day was lived just like the last. The kids went to school, and the adults went to work. The streets were packed with people and vehicles. At first glance the city could be seen as joyous and alive based off the sheer amount of people, but it could only be described as the complete opposite. The civilians that roamed the streets were only husks of their former selves, lost in a sea of work, work, and more work. They lived for work, and worked to live; there was no rest for the wicked nor the good.   
  
An alarm clock blares noise into Thaecrasis’ ear. The young, brightly-colored horse opens his eyes to check the time. “6:30 AM.” He mumbled to himself. He rubbed his eyes with his hooves and hopped out of bed. He groaned groggily as he prepared for the day. He brushed his teeth, washed his face, grabbed an apple, and locked the door to his apartment as he exited the safety of his house and entered the smoggy unfriendly streets of Azulair. The second he stepped onto the sidewalk, he was caught into the dense sea of people hurrying to their work places. He attempted to keep up with the speed of the pedestrians, but his awkwardly large hooves made walking in a crowded space like walking through a minefield. He bumped into a strange man with a washing machine for a head. The washing machine machine turned towards Thae, trying to look as annoyed as possible, which is hard to do if you don’t possess eyes, or a mouth. Suddenly the door to the washing machine man’s head began to open and close rapidly.   
  
In a drowned, hoarse voice, he muttered, “Watch it, will ya?!”  
  
Thae stared at the washing machine, dismayed with what he had done, ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to harass you I really didn’t. Um… Is there any way I could-” The washing machine man had fled, and Thae was left speechless.   
  
A rude voice shouted at his back, “Move it will ya?” Thae turned around to see a crowd of frustrated creatures, and he quickly jogged down the sidewalk so the others could proceed. He quickly glanced at the watch strapped around his hoof after he had made enough distance between himself and the impatient crowd of commuters.  
  
“6:40, looks like I’ve got some time.” Thae said to himself. He continued to walk down the street, admiring the gargantuan buildings which surrounded him. He began to talk to himself once more, “It’s hard to believe I came here just a month ago.” Sounds of honking cars, hollering salesmen and complaining civilians filled the air during these morning hours. Thae had adjusted himself to the fast-paced city life. The smell of stale cigarettes and smog had become familiar to his nose, the sight of poverty and skyscrapers became normal to his eyes, and the sound of beggars and salesman. Soon he reached the bus stop, and he sat on the cold steel bench as he waited for his bus. He pulled the apple out of his backpack and ate it slowly. He studied it closely as he savored it’s wonderfully sweet taste. He finished it, tossed it in a trash can nearby and sat back down on the bench. A few minutes later, Thae spotted the bus speedily approach the bus stop. It came to a screeching halt as Thae got up from his seat and got onto the crowded bus. As usual, all the seats were occupied so Thae stood uncomfortably in the middle of the aisle, hanging on for his dear life as the bus sped across the city streets. Thae looked down at his watch once more. “6:50.” He whispered to himself. He had a mini panic attack as he impatiently waited for the bus to reach his destination.   
  
Thae flew out the door the second he heard the bus driver mutter, “Sector F, work district.” He charged forward relentlessly, stopping whenever someone came in his way.   
  
He would tap their shoulder and say politely, “Hi, could you please move out of the way?”  
  
They would reply, “Um okay.”  
  
Then, He would then continue his mad dash after he replied, “Okay thanks.” Slowly but surely, he split through the crowd like the red sea and he finally arrived at his work building. It was a towering beast, with a large, red neon sign stuck on the front of it which read, Feel Good Inc. He quickly entered the giant skyscraper and scanned his work card. He checked his watch once more. “6:59, Wow that was a close one.” The door to his workplace unlocked, and he entered the lobby. He walked across the marble floor as his eyes were blinded by the overwhelming amount of gold integrated in the architecture. He could hear the workers talking to the different merchants which occupied stalls built into the exterior of the room. They sold a huge variety of things including: cigarettes, food, drinks, alcohol, prostitutes, books, movies, and so on and so forth. Surprisingly, such a lavish lifestyle was rather cheap here at the workspace. Even though you have to work tons of belaboring hours, surely all the champagne, drugs, and food would make up for such things? Not for Thae. Unlike every other worker in that building, Thae lived outside the workspace, tired, cold, and alone.   
  
Thae stood waiting for the elevator. He watched the LED display above the elevator door count down from 13. He looked at the ceiling and began to get lost in his thoughts. He thought to himself, “I wonder how my folks are doing back home. I should really take a break and visit them some time.” A soft, high pitched ding interrupted his thinking session. A smiling woman awaited him inside the elevator.  
  
“Hello! Which floor do you wish to go to?” She said with a cheerful voice  
  
“15th floor please.” Thae replied. He watched as she pushed the button labeled 15. They stood awkwardly, eagerly waiting for the elevator to reach their destination. Suddenly the elevator’s design became extremely interesting to both of them. They examined the engravings in the gold-plated walls, and the countless spots in the marble floor. After what seemed like an eternity, a soft ding resonates in the air and the elevator doors open. Thae exits the elevator quickly, “Thank you have a nice day.” Thae entered a dark room packed with cubicles. He traversed through the dark, dank room as if it were a labyrinth. Computer screens lit up the faces of tens of tired workers. Thae greeted a few of them as he passed by, but all they could do is mumble in reply. Soon, Thae finds his cubicle, dropped his bag next to his chair, and began to work.


	3. The 100th Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> comments and critiques are WELCOME. I probably could've thought of a better name for Thae's favorite restaurant. "The Jolly Dungeon" doesn't really roll off the tongue smoothly.

The computer sprang to life as Thae began his work session. It was quite a beauty, to be quite frank. It had a huge 18 inch by 24 inch screen, and its speed was unmatched. Thae had never seen anything like it before. He spent much of his childhood toying with electronics and computers but nothing came close to rivaling the quality of his new work computer. Thae thought back to the first time he met his computer. He remembered how awestruck he was at the sight of such a beauty. Blinding light seared Thae’s eyes as the computer screen illuminated. Thae rubbed his eyes as he muttered to himself, “Well that’s one thing I’ll never get used to.” He proceeded to grab the strange headset which lay on the desk which the computer sat on. It was a metal frame, custom fit to his head and covered in wires and LED lights. The headset reminded Thae of a football helmet, except it was made of cold steel and wires.  It beeped and booped softly, and the different colored lights on it flickered on and off. “Thank the gods for these headsets. You wouldn’t believe how typing is when you don’t have fingers.” He strapped the headset on and watched the computer screen. The feel good inc logo appeared in the middle of the screen as a small green bar showed the progress of the computer’s awakening. Thae began practicing with the headset, making the mouse do a figure eight with the sheer power of his mind. Finally the last pixel of empty space was filled with green, and the percentage above the progress bar read, “100%” The loading screen faded and revealed a clean desktop with a simple white background. Immediately a popup appeared in the middle of the screen. Thae moved the mouse and opened it. A humongous list of tasks exploded from it, and Thae sighed heavily, “Oh boy, here we go.”   
  
It had been a month since Thae left his small town to find work in Azulair. He remembered it vividly, as if it were yesterday. It was his last day at his own home in the town of Vredem, and he was sitting in his room alone, playing video games while munching on Spicy Dotiros. His room was a natural disaster, and a parent’s worst nightmare. Dirty clothes lay strewn across the floor, his couch bed was covered in stains, his blankets were thrown on the floor, and his desk was covered in Dotiro packages and empty bottles of Ruff Root Beer. Thae sat on his couch bed, eyes bloodshot, hooves covered in Dotiro dust, and hair uncombed and messy. He was playing his favorite game, Zoran, realm of deceit anniversary edition. He had been playing for the past three hours, but he couldn’t stop. It had already gotten boring for him two hours ago, but he continued playing. It was quite obvious that he was anxious about moving to the big city. To his dismay, the sound of groaning ogres and death in the middle of the night attracted his parents. He heard the door knock right after he beat the 15th boss named Kahpitulism. He silently yelled, “You can come in!” Thae began to take off his headset as his parents entered the room with a concerned look on their faces.   
  
  
His mom began to speak to him, “Honey, I understand you’re worried, but you can’t let all those fears get to you okay?”   
  
Thae shoved his face into his hooves and shook his head. He paused for a quick second then replied, “Yes, I understand but… I’m just stressing out. I don’t know. I just need some time to relax.” His parents nodded and began to exit the room  
  
Before they left, his dad quickly said, “I’m sure you’ll be fine. Don’t forget to visit us when you have free time! We would love to see you again!”  
  
Thae smiled and did a fake laugh. “Haha, yea. I’ll see you later.” He closed his door, shut off his computer, turned off the lights, and cried himself to sleep.  
     ***  
Thae struggled to stay awake as he continued his work. His head shrieked with pain as he massaged his temples with his hooves. He whispered to himself, “Come on, almost done…” He was on his last assignment and he was almost finished with it. He sweated generously as he tried to finish what he had started. He just had to finish a few more sentences in his business analysis and he would finally be finished. Right when his brain was just about ready to commit suicide, Thae finished the last sentence and submitted the assignment. He threw his headset onto his desk, and shut the computer off. He got up, grabbed his stuff, and soon realized that all the other workers had already left.   
  
He traversed the maze of cubicles once more and reached the elevator. A man with neatly combed hair, awaited him and let him into the elevator. Instinctively, Thae reached over to press the button labeled Floor 1, but was stopped when the elevator man swiftly smacked his hoof off course. Thae stared at him confused, and the man quickly explained, “The boss would like to see you.” Thae’s heart dropped so low he could hear it sink through the elevator and hit the ground floor. His mind rushed with wild thoughts, and his brain began to scream in pain once more, “What did I do wrong? Did I mess up? Am I going to get fired?” The LED display of the floors seem to be counting up to his doom. With his head throbbing, and his heart racing, Thae awaited reluctantly for the LED to read 100th floor. The sound of the elevator ding seemed to declare his death. He took a deep breath before stepping out to face his boss.  
  
A man with a plain leather jacket, white T-shirt, jeans, and black hair with a purple streak sat in the chair with his feet on his desk. At first sight you wouldn’t believe that this guy ran a huge corporation, but after you had a long chat with him you would be convinced. There wasn’t a thing in the world that this guy can’t answer. He smiled at Thae as he slowly stumbled in. “Ay, what’s good Thae. Nice to see you again dude.”  
  
Thae stood there, hooves heavy, palms sweaty. He barely conjured a response. “He-llo… boss.”   
  
Woaxa stared at him annoyed, “Jesus bro how many times do I have to tell you, just call me Woaxa.”  
  
Thae chuckled nervously. “I’m so-rry, I didn’t mean to upset you Woaxa.”  
  
“Chill dude.”  
  
“Okay.” Thae took a huge gulping breath, and steadied himself before speaking once more, “Alright, so why did you bring me here Woaxa?”  
  
“Well, you see here. I just wanna commend you for your hard work! Look at what you’ve done man. You’ve done great things for this company, keep it up!”  
  
Thae blushed. “Hey, thank you.”  
  
“No problem. I just wanna encourage you to keep working at it, alright?”  
  
“Will do.”  
  
“Alright, see ya later! I’m honestly razzed by how good you’ve been doing. Actually incredible, keep it up!”  
  
  
Thae waved goodbye and entered the elevator once more. He sighed in relief. His head still hurt, his heart was still racing, but he was at peace. He checked his watch, and it read 10:00 PM. His stomach began to growl ferociously. He thought to himself, “I’m starving, I better go get something to eat.” At the sound of the elevator ding, Thae dashed out the lobby and beelined straight for his favorite place to eat: The Jolly Dungeon.


	4. Drink to Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The waiter named Justin is a reference to Justin Pierre from Motion City Soundtrack

As usual, The Jolly Dungeon was packed with people. To Thae’s dismay, a sizable line had formed, and he stood at the tail end of it. He could hear all the laughter and conversation, and he could smell all the wonderful food being cooked inside. It was a really medieval atmosphere, and it reminded him a lot of a tabletop game he enjoyed playing during his youth called Leviathans and Labyrinths. It was one of the few buildings in the city that wasn’t a towering skyscraper. Instead it was a simple cottage, with brick roof tiles, beautiful stained glass windows, and birch wood walls. The wonderful smells tortured Thae as he waited eagerly to get seated. He tried to distract himself so his hunger didn’t bother him as much, but alas to no avail. After what seemed like hours of waiting, Thae finally reached the front of the line and approached the waiter at the reception desk.  
  
He said, “Hello! Welcome to The Jolly Dungeon. Unfortunately we do not have enough space in here to seat you all by yourself at your own table. You wouldn’t mind sitting next to strangers, right?”  
  
Thae quickly replied, “Yea, I don’t mind.”  
  
The waiter smiled nervously and said, “Alright, if you say so.” He began to lead Thae through the pub, weaving through small aisles in between the circular wooden tables and bar stools, which occupied the majority of the space in the tavern. The floorboards creak under their feet as they reach a small table in the corner, occupied only by a strange octopus creature with long hair. Her mouth was surrounded by frothy beer, and she drooled as she slept on the table strewn with empty beer mugs. Thae sat down, carefully pushed the empty beer mugs aside, and began to analyze the menu. He studied it closely, as if it were a holy scripture given to him by the gods. After many minutes of decision making, he finally thought to himself, “I think I’ll just get The Severed Poultry and a glass of Ruff Beer.” Thae looked up from his menu and raised his hand to call the waiter over. He swiftly traversed through the tavern and reached Thae’s table.   
  
He pulled out his notepad and pen and asked, “So, could I start you off with any drinks?”  
  
Thae replied, “Sure! I’ll get a glass of your-”  
  
“I’ll get 20 refills!” The octopus screamed as she awoke from her slumber. “Put it on my tab Justin!” She instantly fell back asleep. Justin quickly scribbled down some notes on his notepad. He was an interesting man. He had frizzy hair and he wore thickly-rimmed glasses.  
  
He turned back to Thae, “Sorry about that, please continue your order.”  
  
“I’ll get a glass of Ruff Beer please.”  
  
“Alright, got it. Now what would you like for you entree?”  
  
“I’ll get The Severed Poultry please.”  
  
“Alright got it. Your order will come out shortly.”   
  
“Okay.” Thae said as he sat in his bar stool, looking around the tavern. It was quite a beauty. Dark oak wood planks fit together perfectly to make a beautiful floor, mahogany support beams which seemed to placed perfectly, the rustic lanterns which illuminated warmly, and the beautiful oak wood tables and stools. It was a feast for the eyes.  
  
“Isn’t he wonderful?” the octopus said dreamily. Thae turned to face her. She wiped the beer froth off her face and continued with a drunken slur in her speech, “I just want him to hug me until I die from his strong arms crushing my ribs causing my heart to be punctured by his love. He’s so dreamy…” The octopus smiled and stared into space before laying her head against the table, yawning, and falling asleep once more.   
  
Thae sat waiting for his food, glancing at the drunken octopus who sat in front of him every once in awhile. He rubbed his head with his hooves, yawned and said, “Boy am I tired.” He would’ve fell asleep if Justin hadn’t come around. “Alright so I got the Duff Beer for you sir, and I got five refills of Yed Beer, I’ll be right back with more. Shortly after the beer was served, the octopus awoke from her slumber and reached for one of the mugs and began to chug its wonderful contents.   
  
Thae watched as the octopus downed the alcohol as if it were nothing. He himself took a small sip from his glass, and wiped the froth that surrounded his mouth. He asked the octopus, “So, what’s your name?”  
  
“Peppyk… Just call me Pep.”  
  
Thae reached out to shake hands and said, “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Thaecrasis.” They shook hands.  
  
“So, what do you do for a living?”  
  
“I draw, and I also write my own songs. Would you like to see my work?”  
  
“Sure.” Pep whipped out her phone and began to scroll through her images. She smiled dopily and chuckled lightly. “This one’s a good one.” Thae stared at the screen and saw a drawing of a spiky haired mouse spray painted blue.  
  
Thae laughed nervously, “Wow! That’s um… Really cool!” He returned to his beer, but took a much larger swig this time. He whispered to himself, “It’ll be okay Thae, drink to forget. Drink to forget.”   
  
“You wanna see more?”  
  
“Um… sure!”  
  
“Okay this is one of my favorites, it's called Midsummer Night’s Vore. It has some of the original characters that I made, and it really shows the emotions feel when you get vored by your sugar daddy on a warm summer ni-”  
  
Justin walked towards their table with half a chicken, stuffed with mashed potatoes and topped with fresh vegetables. “Alright, one Severed Poultry for you sir.”   
  
Thae replied, “Thank you.”   
  
Justin began to walk away but before he completely left the scene, Pep abruptly shouted out, “Justin marry me and take all my babies! Vore me until I decay in your stomach acid! Let me-” To Pep’s dismay Justin had already left and she realized no one was listening. She sighed. “One of these days he will realize his love for me.” Pep chugged another mug of beer and slammed it against the table after she finished it. Thae began to consume the chicken, ravenously tearing it apart into shreds and popping pieces into his mouth. He always ate with his hands, for it is quite hard to use a fork when you don’t have opposable thumbs. He quickly cleared his plate, consuming the meat like a wild animal. His mind shut out everything else as he devoured his dinner, dopamine rushing through his brain. Within 15 minutes, all that is left on the plate is the skeleton of a chicken. He wiped his hands off with a napkin, pushed the plate away from him, and picked up his beer. He savored every last drop of it, and when he was done he put his glass down and relaxed. After 15 minutes of focused eating, he finally looked up. As usual, Pep was drunk and asleep on the table, which was covered with empty beer mugs. Thae looked around and realized everyone was leaving. He could hear the floorboards creak under the unstable steps of drunkards as they exited the tavern. The conversation slowly died down into nothingness, and Thae and Pep were the only ones left inside.   
  
He looked down at his watch and had a mini panic attack as he cried out, “11:00 PM? I better get home fast!” He got up from his stool, and almost ran out the door forgetting the fact that Pep was still drunk, asleep and alone. He quickly ran back inside but before he could reach her Justin walked over to her and said to Thae, “No worries, I’ll handle this. This happens a lot, I’m used to it.”   
  
Pep mumbled loudly, “Justin…” Justin sighed and shook his head as he cleaned up the beer mugs. Thae dashed out the door, and entered the dark, polluted city once more. He could hear distant screams and the sound of metal clanging against metal as he rushed to catch a bus. He sat on the bench by the bus stop anxiously, terrified of the people who patrolled the streets at such an hour. Distant footsteps are barely audible to Thae, but they’re still enough to send shivers down his spine. He scanned the area around him for possible threats, but none were found. Thankfully a pair of familiar headlights appeared over the horizon and slowly approached the bus stop. The second the bus doors opened, Thae raced inside and stationed himself in the nearest empty seat. For once he actually had a bus seat all to himself, and he relaxed in his seat as the bus driver traversed through the dark streets of Azulair. He looked down at his watch once more. It was 11:10, and Thae calculated that at this rate he would probably get home at around 11:20. He stared out the window as they drove through the city. Bright neon signs lit up the night sky and blurred into beautiful collages of color as the bus raced through the quiet city streets. The occasional gunfire and scream erupted from the darkness, which shocked Thae at first, but he quickly adjusted to the commonality of such noises. “There’s only so much I can do to help others.” He thought to himself, “I can’t save em all. No one can.” He continued to stare blankly outside, mesmerized by the beautiful colors of the city skyline, ignoring all the screams of pain and shots fired outside. He yawned loudly and his eyelids grew heavy. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt if I took just a small nap.” He mumbled to himself drowsily. He leaned against the window and would have fallen asleep if bus driver was not there.  
  
The bus came to an abrupt stop and threw Thae into the back of the seat in front of him. The bus driver yelled, “Sector A! Residential district!” Slowly but surely Thae got up, paid the bus fee, and hopped off the bus. He swiftly walked down the streets, got to his apartment, pulled the keys from his work bag, unlocked the door, got in and quickly locked the door shut behind him. He swiftly dropped his work bag on the floor, brushed his teeth, showered, and slipped under the covers. He turned off the light switch located next to his bed, and entered into a deep sleep.  
  
Thae awoke from his sleep, refreshed and ready for the day to come, but the second he opened his eyes, he knew something was wrong. Instead of the familiar beige ceiling he was used to seeing in the mornings, he saw a cold, gray concrete. He quickly sat up in his bed, and scanned his surroundings. There was concrete and iron bars as far as he could see. Thoughts rushed to his head as he leaped out of bed, “Am I in prison? Why am I here? Am I just dreaming?” He tried to pinch himself, but remembered he didn’t have fingers so instead he smacked himself in the face. He didn’t wake up. The room was just like him, sad and lonely. There was a toilet, a sink, a mirror, a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling, and a large iron door surrounded by thick iron bars. He dashed to the iron bars and began to look around. He could spot other people, each of them were still fast asleep in their prisons. He thought to himself, “I wonder if they were kidnapped too. They probably still think they’re at home.” Suddenly footsteps echoed through the hallway and Thae panicked. He hopped into bed and attempted to pretend to be asleep, but alas to no avail. A women in a police uniform reached the cell and unlocked the door. Thae refused to give up his act.   
  
The women called out, “No need to be afraid, we already know you’re awake. Come follow us, we’ll explain what’s going on.” Slowly, Thae rolled off his bed onto his feet and faced the woman, who was flanked by two bodyguards who wore dark sunglasses and heavy protective vests. She spoke confidently, “Hi, the name’s Chsn8r, but just call me Chsn. I’m the head of the defense department here in Azulair, nice to meet you.” Thae reached out his hoof to shake her hand. Her grip was incredibly firm. She nodded towards one of the bodyguards, who looked like a purple stuffed animal, “This is RE2PECT.” She nodded towards the other bodyguard. “This is Waldo.” A man in a red and white hat, and red and white shirt and pants waved. Before Thae could say anything, Chsn quickly said, “Come on, follow me. I’ll explain things to you as we walk.” Thae followed obediently, exiting his cell to enter the narrow corridor. He followed Chsn as they traversed the prison. Soon they reach an airlock, and as Chsn enters the passcode she says, “So as to why you’re here.” The airlock clicked and the door opened. It revealed a long flight of stairs, which seemed to spiral downwards for eternity. As they descended Chsn began her speech, “You’ve been chosen to participate in this year’s Red Warfare tournament. The council has been looking for candidates ever since the new year began. We’ve surveyed the public masses, in hopes of finding the extraordinary within the ordinary. After what we’ve gathered, it seems like you’re one of your best candidates.” Their footsteps echoed as they walked down the stairs.  
  
Thae stared at Chsn, confused by what she was saying. He thought to himself, “How am I the best candidate? I can’t fight! Is she insane?” Thae quickly blurts out before she can continue her speech, “What makes you think I’m such a good candidate? I’ve never touched a weapon in my life! Well unless you count Nref guns, but that was when I was 11 years old and I definitely did not mean to shoot my mom in the eye.”  
  
Chsn looked back at Thae behind her dark sunglasses. “Look here Thaecrasis, it’s not a matter of just brawns. We need brains too, and it looks like you got that in abundance.” Thae blushed. A few moments pass and they reach the bottom of the winding stairs. Another door lays ahead of them, and Chsn pulls out her keycard as she approaches it. She scans the keycard, and unlocks the door. “Alright Thaecrasis, let’s go. If you need anything during your training I’ll be here for you, no matter the circumstance. Come on now, no need to be shy.” Thae slowly approached the open door, anxious of what was to come. Chsn continued her speech of encouragement, “Say hello to your new teammates Thaecrasis, you’ll be stuck with them for a while. I wish you the best of luck, for the days to come will not be easy, but I believe in you. I wouldn’t have elected you to participate in the games if it wasn’t that way.” Thae stepped into the room and the door locked shut behind his back. The people already in the room were sitting in cheap plastic chairs, staring at Thae as he awkwardly stood at the front of the room. A strange man with an apple for a head got up from his chair and greeted him.   
  
“Nice to meet you Thaecrasis, my name is Lexperiment, but you can just call me Lex.” He said in a gravely voice. Lex smiled at him, and Thae smiled back. Lex led Thae to the rest of the group and said to him, “Welcome to the team.”


	5. Bugle Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> salute. Chapters will be shorter since school.

A small panda in a small wood cabin awakens to the anthem of a flugelhorn. He rubs the drowsiness out of his eyes as he hops out of bed and steps onto the cold, hardwood floor. He yawns loudly as he stretches his back, and began to stretch the rest of his body. He was the first one up, and all the others were still fast asleep in their bunk beds. The cabin he lived in was cold and miserable. Cheap, ramshackle bunk beds aligned the walls, small holes in the roofing allowed cold bitter air to seep in, and the floor was covered in splinters. The panda slowly made his way to the bathroom, which was on the other side of the cabin. He walked as if he were walking through a minefield, cautiously dodging splinters as he inched his way across the floor. After a tense few minutes, The panda reached the bathroom. He quickly rinsed his face, brushed his teeth and combed his fur before his cabin mates come stampeding in. By the time he was out, his cabin mates had awoken and were getting ready for the day. As he passed his cabin mate on the way to his dresser, he mumbled, “Good mornin Patrick.”  
  
The giant orange cat mumbled back as he rubbed his eyes, “Good mornin Pandu.” Pandu reached into his dresser and pulled out his uniform. He hated wearing clothes, but it was a mandatory part of attending combat school so he had to. He slid on his camo shirt, and struggled to fit his huge body into his camo pants. He plopped his army cap on his head and headed out of the cabin. He exited the cabin and entered the cold, unwelcoming forests. Tall, gnarled trees blotted out the sun, and a faint dirt path was the only thing to lead Pandu to the mess hall for roll call. He stumbled over tree roots and stubbed his soft panda feet on sharp rocks which jutted out randomly in the path. By the time he reached the end of it, his feet were beaten and bruised. He exited the forest and spotted a plaza of military buildings. They stared at him coldly, as if they were challenging him. People had already begun entering the giant metal bunker they called a mess hall, so Pandu made a mad dash to it to make sure he was not late. Tiny pieces of gravel stabbed his paws, but he didn’t care. “I’d choose getting stabbed by small rocks over getting beaten by a stick any day.” He mumbled to himself. Although his small, stubby, panda feet could not travel as fast as human feet, he still went as fast as possible. His feet slammed into the rocks as he attempted to retain a firm grip on the slope of the hill. Slowly but surely, he reaches the top and dashes for the mess hall. He quickly salutes to the lieutenant before entering.  
  
“Good morning Lieutenant PichuPals.” Pandu said firmly.  
  
“Good morning Private Pandu.” The stoic man in the military uniform replied.  
  
Pandu enters the huge metal room. Small, flickering fluorescent lights hung from the ceiling, and the chatter of the young soldiers echoed across the walls. Pandu hopped into line and played with his stubby panda fingers as he slowly made his way to the front. He grabbed a metal tray with built-in compartments, and a pair of cold, metal utensils. Soon, he reached the front of the line and was scooped a pile of boring gray gruel, and given some canned beans, microwave sausages, and a small slice of soggy toast. He grabbed his plate of “food” and sat down at an empty table, waiting for his friend Patrick to come in. Pandu shoved the disgusting mess into his face with his fat paws. Five minutes later, he’s licking his plate clean and wiping his paws clean. He took his dirty plate and stacked it on top of many others. He sat back at his table and spotted Patrick walking towards his table with a full plate of food. Pandu waved at Patrick as he sat down. “Hey Patrick.” Pandu mumbled.  
  
“Hey Pandu.” Patrick replied with a mouth full of food.   
  
“Hey.” Pandu replied. They sat with each other in awkward silence. There wasn’t much to talk about. Pandu tapped his fingers on the table while Patrick ate his breakfast. After Patrick finished, they both walked outside and met up with their regiments. Luckily, they were in the same regiment, so they both went to their spot on the asphalt floor to meet up with the rest of their regiment. The rest of their squad mates were awaiting their arrival.   
  
As they approached the group, they saluted to their regiment leader and said, “Good morning Private Yeti.”  
  
“Good morning you two.” He replied. His voice was clear and higher-pitched than the average man. They stood in a three by three array, and watched the other groups form. Pandu watched as the entire floor becomes full with people, all of which also stood in a three by three formation. Everyone stood with their chin up, their feet together, and their hands by their sides. They faced the clearing in the forest in which they exited, and had their backs to the mountains which stood in the background. A small amount of chatter broke out among the young soldiers, but their voices were immediately silenced at the sight of a tall man in a military suit walking towards them. They returned to their attention stance, and saluted.   
  
He quickly salutes back and begins his speech to the privates. “Good morning soldiers. Now, drop on the floor and give me one hundred!” Pandu, alongside hundreds of other young guys and girls dropped to the floor and prepared for hell on earth. The pale man in the uniform named Noodles pulled out his megaphone and began counting. “One! Two! Three!” A sea of people undulating up and down formed in front of Noodles’ pale eyes. “Four! Five! Six!” Pandu was already sweating generously. “Seven! Eight! Nine!” Pandu’s stubby panda arms shook under the weight of his own body. His eyes darted to the people next to him and they seemed to be having no trouble at all. “Ten! Eleven! Twelve!” Pandu tried to distract himself as his arms screamed in pain, but his mind and his body were not strong enough.   
  
He beat himself up and thought to himself, “Come on Pandu! What happened? You could do a hundred pushups easily a few weeks ago!”   
  
“Thirteen! Fourteen! Fift-” The sound of Pandu’s body slamming into the asphalt echoed across the valley. Everyone stopped their pushups and stared at the source of the tremendous sound. Pandu panicked as he soon realized that every single pair of eyes within earshot were staring at him.  
  
Noodles quickly shouted into his megaphone, “Pause!” He pointed at Pandu. “You! Come see me. Now!” Noodles walked to the large tent which he called his office and motioned Pandu to follow him. Pandu’s heart sank as he slowly got up from his spot on the asphalt. The other soldiers tried their best to hold back their laughter, but small giggles and yelps of joy leaked out of them. For once, Pandu’s head hung low as he followed Noodles across the blacktop.  
  
Pandu followed Noodles into the large metal tent, and sat in a foldable plastic chair which faced Noodles’ desk. Although it was day outside, the tent blocked any, and all sunlight from entering the room. Lanterns hung at the corners of the tent, and they created a dim, and spooky atmosphere. Bookshelves lined the exterior of the tent and maps were hung on the walls. Noodles sat in a small wooden chair at his small, wooden desk. He stared at Pandu with his back straight, legs crossed and hands folded in his lap. The only thing that could’ve made him look more villainous is a black cat for him to stroke.  
  
He continued to give Pandu a cold stare as he began to speak, “Now what do you think you were doing out there, young man? Do you think this is all a joke?”  
  
Pandu responded with as much courage as he could muster, “No sir. I take my training very seriously sir.”  
  
“If so, explain what happened out there.”   
  
“My arms failed me sir. I tried my best sir.”  
  
“And your best wasn’t good enough.” Noodles quickly replied. Pandu looked at the floor in shame and conjured a response.  
  
He replied with a weak voice, “I’m sorry sir. It won’t happen ever again. I promise. I’ll work harder and get a lot stronger, and I’ll breeze through those push ups tomorrow.”  
  
Noodles slowly nodded and replied, “Good. Now if this ever happens again, there will be consequences. Do you understand?”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
“You are dismissed.” Pandu quickly got up from his seat and exited the tent. The sunlight fried his eyes as he stepped into the daylight. His eyes blinked rapidly as they adjusted to the light. The first thing he saw after he could see again was kids running around the track, which wasn’t too far away from where he stood. He took a huge breath and began to run to the track. He carefully made his way down the steep hill, and bit on his lip as he sprinted across the rocky dirt path.  As he closed the distance between himself and his destination, he mumbled to himself, “Just when I thought I could catch a break.”


	6. Team No Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team NP named after the dota 2 team.

Pandu sloppily shoved food in his mouth with his shaky arms. Gray mashed potatoes and drab peas devoured them speedily as he almost fell asleep on the mess hall table. Patrick stared at him with a concerned look and asked, “Hey, you alright there bud?”  
  
Pandu quickly shouted, “What? Yea! I’m fine, don’t... “ His head rested on the table for a brief second before he quickly snapped back awake. “No Worries! I’m fine!” His eyes focused onto his dinner plate, which contained a handful of peas, a spoonful of mashed potatoes and a slice of mystery meat. He scooped the peas into his mouth, shoveled the remainder of the mashed potatoes into his mouth and munched on the chewy mystery meat. A few moments pass, and Pandu pops the last remaining bit of meat into his mouth, and places his dirty tray on a countertop which was covered in plates. He rubbed his eyes as he began to walk back to the cabin with Patrick. Pandu exited the well-lit mess hall and entered the cold, dark outdoors. They walked alongside each other in silence. Down the hill, than up the hill, then into the forest. They opened their cabin door and see everyone else already in bed and fast asleep. Pandu and Patrick close the door, navigate through the darkness to find their beds, then instantly fall asleep after a long day of training.  
  
***  
  
Pandu yawned as harsh, electric lights seeped into his eyes. “Did they install light bulbs in our cabins or something? What’s goin on here?” He squinted in bed as his eyes attempted to adjust to the bright light. Slowly, he hopped out of bed, and felt the cold concrete under his feet. Struck with confusion, he quickly scanned the rest of the room. “Concrete walls, concrete floor, concrete ceiling, iron bars, metal door, fluorescent lights… Okay what did I do this time to get myself stuck in prison?” He had a miniature heart attack as he sat in his bed, trying to think of reasons for him being in prison. He thought to himself, “Was I not strong enough? Was I not fast enough? Was I not smart enough?” His mind raced as he stared blankly at the metal door of his cell.   
  
Suddenly, sounds of footsteps leaked through the small holes in the cell wall, which blocked Pandu off from the rest of the world. He began to sweat furiously as the noises grow louder and louder until they suddenly stopped and a small beep could be heard before the door swung open, revealing a woman in a police officer uniform. She began to introduce herself. “Hello Pandu. My name is Chsn, and welcome to- Augh!”  
  
Pandu leapt into the air and attempted to tackle Chsn. “You’ll never take me alive!” Chsn quickly dodged out of the way and Pandu dive bombed into the concrete. He groaned in pain. “Ohhhhh…” Chsn stared at him as he slowly got up from the ground. Pandu stared back. After Pandu regained his footing, Chsn turned her back to him and began to walk. Pandu soon followed.  
  
She quickly said, “Come follow me. I’m not going to hurt you.” Pandu complied begrudgingly. They traversed through many empty hallways in silence.  
  
“Man, I feel like she would’ve explained my reason for being here. Guess I sorta pissed her off when I tried to suplex her.” Pandu thought to himself. They paused in front of a heavy door so that Chsn could scan her keycard. The door opened, and revealed a set of stairs, which spiraled down into darkness. Their footsteps echoed as they continued their silent travels. Soon, they reached another large metal door, which hissed and slowly slid over after Chsn scanned her keycard. She quickly shoved Pandu into the room and closed the door behind him.   
  
As the large door locked shut, he could hear her say, “Good Riddance!” He entered a drab room which contained a few guys sitting in plastic chairs in a semi-circle formation. He smiles as he spots Patrick among the sea of unfamiliar faces.   
  
He approaches him and shouts, “Ay! Patrick!” Patrick got up from his seat and gave him Pandu a high five.  
  
“Ay! Pandu! What are you doing here?”  
  
“I dunno man, I just woke here!”  
  
“Same.”  
  
“Do you know what’s going on? That police officer lady didn’t tell me nothin.”  
  
“Really? She explained everything to me!”  
  
“Probably cause I tried to tackle her.”  
  
“Woah.”  
  
“Yea I know, probably one of the worst decisions of my life.”  
  
They stared at each other awkwardly until they burst into hysterical laughter. The joke quickly grew old and they moved on.  
  
Patrick asked, “Heard of the tournament Redwarfare?” Pandu’s ears perked up at the mention of the name.   
  
“Redwarfare? Yea! Of course I have! I’ve always wanted to watch it live on the television ever since I was a young lad but my parents never let me.” He sighed and stared at Patrick, who was holding back a smile. He quickly asks Patrick, “Hey! Why are you smiling Patrick?”  
  
“Pandu… We’ve been chosen to fight in this year’s Red Warfare tournament!” Pandu stared at Patrick in shock.   
  
“Re- Re- Redwafare?!” He exploded with excitement. “Yes! Finally I can use all this military training I have.” He squealed with joy as he skipped around the room. The strangers who sat in the plastic chairs gave Pandu nasty stares. A strange man with a washing machine for a head began frothing at the mouth. He got up from his seat and approached Pandu.  
  
Bubbles flew as he began his rant, “Do you understand the type of danger we’re in right now? Think of your parents! Do you want them to watch you die on national television? Huh?”  
  
“Well. I think my parents would just be super disappointed. They’d see my decapitated head on the ground and groan and say, ‘Our son is a failure… Where did we go wrong.’” The washing machine man stared at Pandu’s beady panda eyes and grabbed him by the soldiers. He prepared to punch Pandu but gave up halfway through and wiped the sweat off his washing machine forehead.  
  
He began to scream. “I can’t take it… I just can’t take it man.” He tried to rip his hair out in frustration but he realized he didn’t have hair so he banged his head against a nearby table instead.   
  
“A room like this would drive anyone crazy.” Pandu thought to himself. The floor was a boring, brown carpet, and all the walls and ceilings were painted beige. There was the circle of plastic chairs in the center of the room, a small kitchen with some basic food rations, and a corner occupied by 11 small beds. Pandu’s stomach growled noisily, which directed his attention to the small kitchen located to his right. He sprinted at tremendous speed and stopped abruptly when his feet tapped against the linoleum floor of the kitchen  
  
He opened the cupboards rapidly and said, “Boy am I hungry.” He went from cupboard to cupboard, looking for a delicious morsel to snack on. His eyes lit up at the sight of a box of Trader Flo’s Cupcake Panda-O’s. He snatched the box, popped it open, and shredded the bag, allowing the glorious sugary contents to flow into his mouth. He cried tears of joy as he quickly finished the entire box of cereal. When the cereal stopped coming, Pandu shook the box and soon realized it was completely emptied. He threw the box into the trash and sat in the circle of chairs. He patted his stomach happily and leaned back in his chair. They were all staring at him judgingly but he could care less.  
  
A strange man with an apple for a head got up from his seat and shook Pandu’s hand. “Nice to meet you Pandu.” He said. “Welcome to the team.” His arms were made of tree branches and they gripped firmly as they shook hands. It was almost as if they were trying to consume him. “My name is Lex.” He gave Pandu a huge grin, baring his sharp yellow teeth. “Nice to meet you.” He turned his back to Pandu and as he returned to his seat he quickly says, “Why don’t we introduce ourselves guys.” Lex sat down and stared at everyone else in the circle. After a few seconds of awkward silence, he took initiative and began to talk. “Alright, looks like I’m gonna be starting us off.” He waved at Pandu. “Hi, I’m Lex, and as you can see I am an apple. Um… I like bombs, zombie movies, and I am currently 18 years old.” Pandu stared at the humanoid apple with drab clothing, and nodded. Since Lex was at the end of the circle, he looked at the person to the right of him and signaled him to start.  
  
A stylish man with a washing machine head wearing a trench coat and fedora began to open and close his mouth rapidly. Pandu assumed this was his way of talking. He began to talk with his deep, gurgly voice, “Hi, I’m Ultra. I’m a washing machine, don’t ask why. I’m a detective, I work part time at an electronic appliance store, and I’m good friends with Lex. We play mini-golf together on Sundays.” Pandu smiled at him and Ultra looked to his right at a guy with a large helmet, wearing a thin gray coat, and a pair of orange pants.   
  
He turned to Pandu and waved. His voice was somewhat low but still squeaky. “Hi, I’m Onett, and I like to draw and write stories sometimes but I’m really not that great. Before I was brought here I was going to high-class military boarding school before I was sent here. Oh yea, also I’m 12 by the way.” He got up from his chair and reached to shake Pandu’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”   
  
A humanoid robot hiding behind dark shades with emo hair wearing a sweatshirt and jeans began to speak. His voice was surprisingly human. “Hello, I’m iCarson, but you can just call me Carson. My location of origin is unknown to me, but I know I attended public school for ten years of my life. I am still trying to find out why I exist, and why I was created. Anyways, my favorite flavor of electricity is blueberry, and I enjoy long walks on the beach.” He smiled at Pandu and Pandu smiled back.  
  
Seeing that Carson was done, Pandu looks to the person to the right of Carson and soon realizes there was a second familiar face in the room. It was Noodles. He waved at Pandu, “Hello Pandu. I know you know me so I’m going to keep this nice and short. I’m Noodles, and I like romantic comedies, nice to meet you again.” Pandu gave him a nasty stare as they shook hands.  
  
They continued around the circle. A man with somewhat long blonde hair and pale blue eyes, wearing a blue polo T-shirt and a pair of brown slacks. A thick danish accent was audible in his voice as he began to speak, “Hey, I’m Agent Freddy, but just call me Freddy. I attended a boarding school in the city of lumière brillante for my childhood. Well of course I spent holidays with me mum and me dad but I spent most of my life with me mates back at the school. Nice to meet you Mister Pandu.”   
  
Next up was a man covered head to toe in thick buckskin clothing. He wore a pair tan moccasins, buckskin pants, a buckskin sweater, and a thick fur shawl over his shoulder. Pandu was surprised he wasn’t dripping with sweat. “Hi I’m yolksoup, and I’m from the tribe of Thunderhorse. I lived on a small reservation for most of my life, although it’s not much different from the regular cities. I like hunting, and playing DOTE 12 with my friends. I’m sorta a DOTE 12 nerd. Just thought I would give you a bit of a heads up for the days to come.”   
  
Pandu chuckled nervously, “Cool! Um… That’s good to know.”  
  
Yolk continued on, “Did you know Oighair gains a bonus .25 magic resistance stat when he activates his E ability Balance Change? Oh and-”  
  
Patrick, who sat to the right of him quickly cut him off. “Hi Pandu, you already know me but I’ll introduce myself again, since it has sorta become tradition around here. I’m Patrick, as you guys already know, and I enjoy smoking Katnip and eating tuna. Okay that’s it.”  
  
Pandu stared at Patrick with a confused look and said, “Wait hold up. You smoke Katnip?”  
  
Patrick stared at him confused. “You never knew?”  
  
“Hmmmm… Well I guess that explains why you’re so laidback.” Patrick laughed and reached into his pockets, pulling out a good amount of Katnip rolled up in a tissue paper. He flicked the cap off the lighter and a small red flame developed in front of his eyes. The tissue paper caught fire and he put the low budget blunt to his mouth and took a long deep breath. He exhaled slowly, letting out a bellow of smoke. His eyeballs reddened as he took another puff.   
  
In between his smokes he said, “Ya know… They never check my built-in pockets.” He stretched his skin, revealing a small pocket in his skin, perfect for storing cigars in. “All those kids in school who bullied me for having these beauties… look who's laughing now.” He asked with a slurred rhythm Pandu, “Ayyyyy… You want a puff Pandu?” Pandu stared at Patrick with concern.  
  
“No thanks.” Pandu replied. Patrick continued his smoke as they continued their introductions. They had come to the last person other than Pandu. It was a stout, brown pony with short brown hair wearing a dirty green cloak and a pair of shades that sat right next to him. He reeked of rotten fish and sweat, and his voice was hoarse and raspy. “Hey, I’m ponyhidden, just call me pony. I used to live on the streets before I sorta just ended up here. I like to draw and drink vodka, although I don’t get to drink vodka a lot since I’m homeless. Sometimes I scrape enough money to get myself a bottle but usually I have to use my money to get food off the dollar menu at Nald’s, which sorta sucks. Anyways, nice to meet you.” He reached out to shake Pandu’s hand. Pandu reluctantly grabbed his nasty hand and shook it up and down.  
  
All eyes were on him when it came to his turn to introduce himself. “Hi, I’m Pandu and I came from the same military camp that Patrick came from.” He pointed to Patrick. He was higher than a kite and was staring at the ceiling with a dopey smile, eyes half-open and ears completely closed. “Alright, I love jam sandwiches, and Trader Flo’s Cereal. Nice to meet you guys.” Pandu waved and took a peek to his right and no one was there.   
  
They sat in more awkward silence for a bit, until Lex began to speak again, “Alright, I think we better head off to bed.” Lex stared at the clock which hung on the wall to the left of Pandu. Lex yawned.  
  
Lex spoke again, “Yeah, it’s getting late. Goodnight, see you guys in the morning.” They all got up from their chairs and hopped into their tiny beds. Lex waited for everyone to get settled, and he flipped the switch off. Once more, Lex said, “Goodnight guys.” Pandu stared into the darkness until it consumed him, and he entered the land of dreams.


	7. Skadoosh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title inspired by the Kung Fu Panda. SKADOOSH

A loud, annoying noise shrieked from the alarm mounted on the wall. An orchestra of groans and moans formed in response, as the team slowly got out of their beds. One by one they got on their feet and walked to the bathroom like a horde of zombies. The bathroom was well furnished with multiple sinks, mirrors, showers, and toilets. Their feet tapped against the luxurious tile floor as they got ready for the day ahead of them. Pandu lazily brushed his teeth, combed his fur, and washed his face and quickly got out of the room. Soon, the others filed out of the bathroom with bags under their half-closed eyes. Like thieves in the night, they raided the kitchen and made breakfast out of whatever they could find. Apparently the cupboards had been magically refilled overnight, because Pandu found multiple boxes of Trader Flo’s Nuclear Sugar Warheads. The noise created by the commotion almost deafened Pandu as he barely made his way out of the warzone. He quickly snagged the boxes and sat in a corner, eating the dry sugary mess all by himself. He watched as the team waded in each other’s bodies as they tried to prepare breakfast. 

Pandu watches the chaos from afar. Noodles, was carrying a cup of instant noodles and almost tripped on someone’s ankle. He spiraled out of control for a good minute, and as he recovered he remarked, “Hey! Watch it, will ya?” He shot a nasty stare at the mass of people as he made his way to his chair in the center of the room. One by one, they exit the hellhole which was the kitchen and stationed themselves around the room. For once, all was silent, as the people of Team NP ate their breakfasts. Pandu licked the excess sugar off his lips, picked up the pile of cereal boxes which lay next to him, and tossed them all into the recycling bin, which was located in the kitchen. Pandu returned to his corner once more and dozed off as everyone else began to finish their meals. The rest of the guys quickly finish their food, clean their plates, and place them in the sink. The rest of the group returned to their eating spots and stared emptily into space. They would occasionally make eye contact, exchange looks, and laugh to try to break the ice but their efforts were in vain. Pandu stared at the boring white clock which hung on the wall. It was as if time was slowing down. Pandu’s eyes grow heavy and his head drooped, but the noise of an unlocking door gripped his attention and shook him awake. Without explanation, the large metal door on the other side of the giant vault door opened and everyone was beginning to make their way to it. Pandu slowly got up, and followed the others to the door. Before he can see through the entrance, he was stopped by Lex, who was blocking the doorway completely.

“Sorry, I didn’t explain this to you earlier, but I just want to let you know that the door to the training door opens during the day. You don’t have to come in with us, but really there isn’t much else to do around here.” Pandu nodded to show his understanding. Lex shrugged, and realizing he was blocking Pandu off, stepped to the side and said, “Sorry, didn’t meant to block ya, move along.” 

“Thanks.” Pandu said. He passed Lex, and was instantly stunned by the sight of the training room. Bright stadium lights filled his eyes with tears as his paws stepped onto the bouncy running track, which stretched around the room. It was like an indoor football stadium, and Pandu simply stood in the middle of the track, shocked by the absolute beauty it all. He looked around the room, and saw that everyone else was hard at work. Onett, Yolk and Pony’s footsteps echoed across the stadium as they ran around the track over and over again. In the middle of the stadium were multiple exercise machines, which were occupied by the rest of the gang. Patrick was strapped into some strange robotic stretcher, which seemed like they were almost tearing his limbs off; Ultra, and Freddy were lifting small dumbbells; and Carson was benchpressing 300 pounds as if it were nothing. He would’ve spent the whole day just standing there if Lex hadn’t confront him. 

“So, are you gonna do something or what?” He asked. Pandu snapped out of his daydream and laughed nervously. He hadn’t realized Lex was right beside him on the track.

“Yea! Of course.” Pandu said reluctantly.

Lex smiled and replied, “Cool! Alright I’m gonna go lift some weights, see you later!” Pandu watched as Lex jogged to do weight lifting area. Dread hung around his neck like a noose.

Pandu sighed heavily and spotted a treadmill among the multitude of exercise machines which were erected on concrete which filled the empty space that the track surrounded. To be completely frank, all he wanted to do was stay home, eat Trader Flo’s Triple Deluxe Chocolate Wafers, and play Mausoleum of Monsters. Alas, here he was, in the middle of a training room, preparing for a cruel game of life or death for millions of people to see. He stepped onto the treadmill, and pressed the power button. Slowly but surely, his anxiety grew as he ran on the treadmill. 

Thoughts went and came as he did his cardio. Malicious, dark thoughts such as, “Wow I can actually die from this whole Red Warfare thing. Am I too young to die? Is this really worth it? A deadly lottery to see if I can sustain myself for the rest of my life?” He breathed heavily as he hopped from foot to foot. He looked down and saw the treadmill display screen, which gave Pandu an overview of his progress. 

Pandu read it aloud in between heavy breaths, “ Speed: 1/10, wheeze, Distance: 800 meters, pant pant, Calories burnt: 26.43, wheeze.” Pandu swiftly flicked the power switch off, and hopped off. He put his hands on his knees and stared at the ground as he attempted to regain his stamina. After a long breathing session, he straightened his back, and got back on the treadmill. He hated every second of exercise, but something inside of him pushed him to work harder and get stronger. He pushed the power button again, and started jogging again. As he began his run, he whispered to himself, “This is for me. This is for my future.” 

***

Pandu almost collapsed when he stepped back into the main living room. As he stepped from the bouncy track to the soft carpet, the door leading the exercise room shut immediately. Everyone else had come in an hour before he did. They all looked up from their dinners as they spotted Pandu. Pandu didn't care what they thought of him. He didn’t care if they thought he was fat, or that he was dumb as a bag of rocks. For once, his walk had some confidence behind it, as he slowly made his way to his bed and laid on it, staring at the bottom of the bed above him, breathing heavily. After a few minutes, he got out and hit the showers. He walked like a zombie, slowly inching his way to the stalls. He grabbed the shower curtain, almost ripped it off, entered the shower stall, and closed the curtains again. Pandu turned on the hot water, closed his eyes, and smiled. He sloppily applied shampoo to his entire body as he enjoyed his five minutes in heaven. After he was done, he shut off the water, dried himself with a large, fluffy, white towel, and made his way to the kitchen to make himself some dinner. Luckily for him, he had the kitchen all to himself since everyone else had finished, so he made himself a feast consisting of Trader Flo’s Deluxe Triple Fudge Cupcakes, some microwave rice, and canned meat called PAMS. He applied some oil to the pan, and cooked the meat from a distance in order to avoid the searing hot particles of fat that flew off it sporadically. After a few minutes, it stopped sizzling, and he slid it off the pan onto a paper plate. A few seconds later, the microwave beeped, signaling that it had completed its job. Pandu opened the microwave door, took out the rice, and opened the lid, revealing the glorious starchy contents. His mouth salivated as he dumped all the rice onto the paper plate. He popped open a package of Trader Flo’s Deluxe Triple Fudge Cupcakes, and took one out of the box, and held it with his left paw, which was especially hard since he didn’t have opposable thumbs. He took his food, and sat on his bed, while everyone stared at him. Pandu took his chopsticks and began to dig in. His monstrous eating noises were the only thing that could be heard in the room. He shoveled down the salty meat, and the plain rice into his mouth until there was none left. He grabbed his cupcake, unwrapped the outside, and ate the whole thing in one bite. He smiled, and burped loudly as he tossed his dirty paper plate into the trash. He head straight for the bathroom, with a full, satisfied stomach. He quickly washed up for bed, sprinted to his bed, and slid under the covers. Before everyone dozed off, Lex quickly announced, “Looks like we are due for another member tommorow! Everyone be prepared!” Everyone nodded their heads. Pandu’s ears perked up at the mention of another member joining them. 

Lex flipped the light switch off and said, “Goodnight guys!”

They all replied, “Goodnight Lex.” Pandu smiled at the thought of a new member. The anticipation would’ve kept him awake the whole night if it wasn’t for the deadly combination of vigorous exercise and a large meal. Before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

Pandu entered the land of dreams, and it felt as if he were waking up in a new world, with a new life. He was still in bed, but the covers felt softer and the room was cozier. He rubbed his eyes, and sat up. It was still the middle of the night, but he was wide awake. He navigated through the dark, and found a light switch, which he flicked on. He took a second to appreciate the beauty of his own room. To his surprise, the room was lavishly furnished with mahogany wood dressers, soft cotton sheets, and furry carpets and blankets. A mini glass chandelier hung from the ceiling, and the rose red walls were intricately decorated with floral patterns. He walked to the window which was behind his bed, and took a peek outside. He noticed he was on the second floor of a house, and after more inspection of the exterior of the house, he soon realized he was in a bedroom of a luxury mansion. He turned away from the window and sat on his plush king sized bed. He took another second to admire his own bedroom. It was like living in an antique gallery, everything looked so expensive Pandu was afraid he was going to break something. After some time, he got bored and decided to go adventuring around the house. He hopped off the bed and landed on the panda fur carpet, which was stained red. “Must’ve been a grape juice spill.” He said to himself. He began walking to the door and before he could grab the knob and turn it, the lights began to flicker, until they suddenly shut off. He was plunged into darkness, and he began to stumble around wildly, attempting to find a source of light, but alas to no avail. He walked around blindly, knocking into things and tripping over his own feet. He began to panic more when he heard distance footsteps, approaching him. He felt around the darkness, found the door, and slammed the door to his bedroom shut. He groped around the darkness some more, until he felt his soft blankets. He hopped into it, and hid under the covers. He knew hiding under his blanket would do nothing, but fear overtook him and his muscles were frozen solid. He trembled and continually whispered to himself, “It’s okay Pandu, It’s okay.” His efforts were in vain, because the footsteps got louder, and louder until he couldn’t take it anymore and he shrieked in horror. 

Pandu woke up in a cold sweat. He was back in the training room, in his tiny bunk bed. He relaxed, and took many deep breaths to calm himself. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and went back to sleep. “Thank god that was just a dream.” He said to himself as he quickly fell asleep once more, as if nothing had ever happened.


	8. Let's Die Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter that I made in a while, I will try to pump out as much of these chapters as I can but I'm working on a lot of stuff so yea

“Man, today just flew by.” Pandu whispered to himself as he pulled the shower curtain aside so he could enter the stall. He turned on the hot water faucet, and experimented until he reached the perfect temperature, at which point, he entered the stall, and closed the shower curtain. He closed his eyes and smiled as he took a few seconds to enjoy the warmth of the water, then quickly began to apply shampoo to his fur soon after. Soapy suds and bubbles rose through the air as he thoroughly massaged it into his fur. After a few minutes of vigorous washing, he enjoyed the warm water for a few more seconds, then turned the faucets off. He stepped out of the shower and onto the cold, moist tile floor, and dried himself off with a fluffy white towel. As he made his way to the row of mirrors, he threw the towel into a nearby laundry basket. Quickly, he groomed his hair with a comb, then exited the bathroom.  
  
Everyone else is already sitting in their seat in the circle, waiting for Pandu to take his seat.   
  
“God, what’s taking him so long, the new guy could come here any second now!” Ultra said, staring at the clock which sat on the opposite wall, as he sweated generously in his seat.  
  
“Bro… Chill.” Patrick said with a chuckle. He looked at Ultra with his red, half-opened eyes.  
  
“Yeah Ultra, calm the fuck down.” Yolk said, with an “I don’t care about anything” tone.  
  
“Shut up!” Ultra shouted furiously, as his laundry door mouth flew open and shut rapidly. “I have the right to be worried! This sotta thing is important! Aight?” He crossed his arms and sat back on his chair.   
  
Yolk rolled his eyes. “Whatever dude.” He said sarcastically.   
  
Suddenly, Pandu sprinted out the bathroom and into the living room, leaving faint footprints on the ground as his damp feet collided against the ground. He dashed to his chair, and quickly sat down.   
  
He smiled and laughed nervously. He quickly explained himself before anyone could stop him. He rambled like an idiot. “Sorry guys, I went as fast as possible, I don’t want to ruin this for our new group member or anything, I just want to make sure that I don’t hurt anyone’s-”  
  
“Pandu. You’re fine, quit worrying so much.” Lex said with a reassuring voice. He quickly glanced at the clock, and with a booming voice he shouted, “6:59 guys! Prepare yourselves!” Instantly, everyone turned their attention to the giant metal door that they had all once passed through. As if it were waiting for its cue, the airlock on the door unlocked and the door slowly slid to the side, revealing the new member of Team NP.   
  
A yellow pony with pink hair named Thaecrasis stood in front of the circle of people awkwardly. He stared at the floor, in attempts to avoid any form of social interaction, but alas to no avail, his attempts failed. After what seemed like forever, Lex got up from his seat, walked up to Thae with astounding bravery and shook his hoof with a toothy grin plastered on his face.   
  
“Nice to meet you, my name is Lex.” He smiled as he firmly shook Thae’s hoof up and down.  
  
Thae smiled nervously and replied, “Hey, nice to meet you too. Um… My name is, um. Thae! Thaecrasis! Nice to meet you!” Lex let go of his hand, and he put it back down on the ground, then gave him a hug and a pat on the back as if they were close friends.  
  
He pointed to the last empty chair located next to Pandu. “Please! Have a seat.” Thae awkwardly walked across the floor and took his seat. Pandu gave him a hasty wave and a smile, and Thae returned the favor. Before anyone could say anything else, Lex quickly said, “Why don’t we introduce each other to our new, and possibly last member. Would anyone like to start us off?” He looked at the others in the circle of the chairs. “No? Alright, guess I’ll start then.” And so, the onslaught of introductions and salutations began.  
  
***  
  
Before he knew it, it was Thae’s turn to introduce himself. Thae could feel ten pairs of eager eyes were stuck to him like glue as he opened his mouth to speak. “Hi, my name is Thae. I just moved to Azulair, I work at Feel Good Inc, I like to play tabletop games with my friends, and I like to play video games. Any of you guys heard of Demon Slayer XXI?”   
  
While everyone else shook their heads, Yolk quickly blurted out, “I thought I was the only one! I love that game! Who’s your favorite character? I love using Azure, her mobility builds are so fun to use! You ever use-”  
  
“Jesus dude you’re such a nerd.” Ultra commented saltily.  
  
“Yeah I know.” Yolk said. “Anyways, what do you think of the strength build on her in patch 10.76.2? I personally thought it didn’t deserve a nerf, it was so fun to use and it didn’t even break the meta.  It made her into such a versatile character and I really feel like she would’ve been fine untouched but no! They just had to nerf her strength gain at level 87, didn’t they? Oh, and you know what else is complete bullshit? The nerf on Eldorian! His key combos were so fun, and now they changed them for 20 basic spells, it's so unfair! Seriously, his dexterity build was so underrated and fun to-”  
  
Lex quickly cut him off. “Hey Yolk, let’s let Thae finish, alright?”   
  
Yolk put up his finger in protest then quickly put it back down. “Yeah of course, sorry Thae.”  
  
Thae looked at Yolk apologetically. “Yea, No worries, I was done. Sorry if I made it sound like I was done, I’m um… not very adept at conversations.”  
  
“Yeah, no problem man.” Yolk said. “I was going a bit over the top, sorry.”  
  
“Alright, thank you.” Thae replied. “Good to know I’m not the only nerd around here.” They sat in awkward silence for a few seconds.  
  
“Alright, I’m famished. I say, we should all get some dinner!” Lex said enthusiastically.   
  
“Yes, I too am extremely hungry! Even though I do not have the capacity to eat food!” Carson said monotonically.  
  
“Yea, me too.” Ponyhidden said as he looked down at his stomach.  
  
And upon that note, they all got up from their chairs and headed to the kitchen. For once, they had some courtesy getting dinner. They formed a single file line and one by one went into the kitchen to prepare their meals, instead of tripping over each other to obtain their food. They dashed to get good positions in line, but Thae took his time. He stood in the back of the line to the kitchen, happy that he was giving others the opportunity to be served first.   
  
Realizing that their newest member was in the back of the line, Lex, who stood at the front of the line, walked up to the back and said to Thae, “Here, take my place, I’ll go to the back.” He attempted to herd Thae to the front but Thae resisted.  
  
He shook his head as he said, “No no no, thanks, I’m fine here, you can go ahead!”   
  
Lex replied almost instantaneously, “No! I insist! Please!”  
  
“Lex, please! I musn’t go to the back, you got there first! Please! I Insist!” Thae responded.  
  
“Come on Thae! You deserve this spot! Everybody agrees! Right?” He waved to everyone else in the line, and they were all nodding.  
  
“Ye Thae! You deserve dis!” Ultra said.  
  
“I second that!” Ponyhidden said.  
  
“I third that!” Pandu said enthusiastically.   
  
Realizing he was fighting an uphill battle, Thae gave up, and finally said with a sigh, “Alright, alright. I’ll move to the front.” He sheepishly walked to the front, grabbed a plastic plate, and began to sweat under the pressure of holding everybody back from getting their meals.  
  
He entered the kitchen and he felt all the eyes watching his every move. He thought to himself as he rummaged through the cupboards in search of some good food to eat. “I should hurry up.” He whispered to himself, even though only a few minutes had passed. He quickly looked over his shoulder to check on the others, who were patiently waiting for him to finish. Despite the relaxed looks they gave Thae, he couldn’t help but feel pressured by the sheer presence of the others. His plate was still empty when he entered panic mode. He frequently looked over his shoulder to check on the glances of the others while he frantically gathered food. He almost dropped his plate multiple times during his rushed preparation but miraculously, he made it out of the kitchen alive and well. He sat on a couch which was tucked away in the corner of the room.    
  
He wiped the sweat off the back of his neck as he sat down with his meager dinner plate consisting of canned beans, pretzel sticks, eleven and a half sour cream and onion potato chips, and a few slabs of teriyaki beef jerky. Usually he was so hungry he could eat a horse, but his appetite was ruined.   
  
Thae listened to the chatter of the other team members as he popped pretzel sticks into his mouth one by one (which he did with considerable talent considering the fact that he didn’t have opposable thumbs). He heard all the dirty jokes and the petty arguments, and they made him think, “How could they be happy in a dire situation such as this?” He set his gaze to the pathetic meal that sat on his lap. He finished his pretzel sticks and moved onto the potato chips.  
  
Suddenly a voice erupted from the other side of the room. “Hey Thae! Could I sit with you?”   
  
Thae looked up from his plate and tracked down the source of the voice. It was Pandu. He responded, “Yea! Um, sure! Of course!”   
  
Pandu quickly made his way across the floor and sat down next to Thae. He carried a plate containing a large portion of white microwave rice, and some strange rectangular pink meat. He packed a considerable amount of food inside his mouth the second he sat down on the couch. He chewed it quickly and throughly, and Thae watched him as he continually consumed the food with little to no pause, it was almost as if his stomach was a void and this food was trying to fill it. Miraculously, after several mouthfuls of food, he stopped to speak.  
  
“So… Where were ya before dis whole Red Wafarfare ding?” Said Pandu as he tried his hardest to not to spray specks of chewed food at Thae’s face.  
  
Thae replied, “Well um, I used to work for Feel Good Inc, ya know that one company that makes um… What was it again? Oh yea, um- Wait no. They make… Electronics? No, can’t be. Music? No. Hold on give me a second to think.”   
  
Pandu shot him a confused stare. “So you don’t even know what this company makes, but you still work for em?”  
  
“Well, I guess so.” Thae replied shyly.  
  
“What do you do at work?” Pandu asked quickly.  
  
“I do tasks on the computer, paperwork and stuff like that.”  
  
Pandu quickly shoved another forkful of food into his mouth before speaking once more. “Paparwork abou’ whot?” Pandu said with his mouth full.  
  
“Uhhhhh, legal stuff?”  
  
“Legal stuff ‘bout wot?” Pandu quickly replied after gulping down his food.  
  
Thae sighed and said, “Alright look here Pandu, I’m gonna be completely honest with you. I forgot what I work for. I just feel like--I feel like I just hated my job. My work was so boring and mundane I began to lose my humanity. Everyday was the same, wake up, go to work, eat dinner, go home. Rinse and repeat.” Thae paused and stared sheepishly at the plate which sat on his lap. He forked some cold, canned beans before continuing his rant. “Ya know, I’m honestly sort of glad I got caught in this whole Red Warfare thing. I feel like I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I weren’t here.”  
  
Pandu looked at Thae and smiled a toothy grin. The fur around his mouth was stained with grease. “I get what ya mean.” Pandu said. “My life before this sucked too. I’ve spent almost my entire life tucked away at some military school. I guess this whole tournament thing is a nice break from my daily life.” Pandu scraped the sides of his plate with his fork and gathered the few remaining pieces of meat and rice, and inserted them into his mouth.  
  
With his plate still half full, Thae got up from his seat and smiled as he looked down at Pandu. “Well, nice to meet you Pandu, I hope after this whole Red Warfare ordeal is over, the stars will align and we’ll see each other again.  
  
“Yea, same here.” Pandu replied. “But if we’re gonna die, we gonna die together alright?” Pandu smiled and put his hand up to shake Thae’s hand. “Deal?”  
  
Thae smiled, and shook his hand. “Deal.”


	9. Thaecrisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for hiatus, I have not felt motivated so I haven't been writing. IM BACK NOW.

Thae grabbed his warm bowl of oatmeal and sat down at his usual spot on the couch. He watched Pandu approach him as he slowly shoveled spoonfuls of warm oats into his mouth. In Pandu’s hands was a bowl, filled with colorful cereal floating inside a liquid that Thae presumed was milk, which was a disgustingly unappetizing shade of purple. The liquid spilled all over the carpet as he fast walked his way to the couch. Pandu waved to Thae as he reached the couch. “Hey Thae!” He said with an energetic tone.

Thae took a break from his boring bowl of oats to wave back. “Hi Pandu.” Thae replied. He quickly returned to his bland oatmeal. He listened to Pandu ravenously shove cereal into his mouth as he continued to eat. After another few mouthfuls of oatmeal Thae turned to Pandu and watched him chug the strange colored milk from the bowl in both astonishment and terror, before asking, “So, how'd you sleep?”

Pandu downed the last few drops of milk, licked his lips, and smiled. “Ah! Pretty good! How ‘bout you?” Pandu replied energetically.

“Pretty good too.” Thae replied.

Pandu plopped his empty, China bowl onto the wooden coffee table, which stood at ankle height in front of them, then immediately refocused his gaze on Thae. “So! You excited for today? What d’ ya think we’re gonna do today! Group training! Are we gonna fight in the real tournament! Hmmm?” Pandu asked with an unstable, deranged tone.

Thae replied nervously, “I mean uh, I think we’re probably gonna do some group training? Probably? Maybe? I mean, uh, it seems like everyone’s here, right? It would be logical if we all did some group training before the real deal.” After finishing speaking, Thae quickly looked away from Pandu, and stared at the carpet floor as he played with his hooves.

Pandu exclaimed loudly, “Group training ey? Yea! That sounds ‘bout right!”

“Ah!” Thae looked up, startled by Pandu. He looked at Pandu and quickly replied, “Yea.”

“You excited?”

“Uh, Not really.”

Pandu shrieked with a wild look in his eyes, “Man, I’m excited! I just feel so alive! Ya know what I’m sayin?”

“Yea, I do.” Thae chuckled nervously, as he gave Pandu a concerned stare. Before leaving, he said, “Anyways, nice talking with you, I’ll see ya later, alright friend?”

Pandu was licking the bottom of his empty bowl to make sure he didn't miss a single drop of purple sugar-milk. He put his bowl down so he could look at Thae and curtly replied, “Yea, yea, yea see ya later mate.” He proceeded to laugh hysterically in glee as he tried to collect the last drops of purple milk with his tongue. Thae got up and walked over to the kitchen. On the way there he waved to a couple of the other members. He spotted Yolk, who was sitting on his bed, not too far away from his seat on the couch, dining on a hot bowl of chinese noodle and egg soup, as he vigorously wrote on a paper.

Thae waved to him. “Hey Yolk.” Thae said.

Startled by Thae’s presence, he quickly hid the paper and pencil behind his back and picked up his bowl and chopsticks. “Um, hey Thae! What’s up!” His cheeks turned red as a tomato as he played with his glasses. He stuffed his face with noodles quickly.

“Not much, are you ready for group training?”

  
Yolk quickly chewed and swallowed his noodles. “Yea, um. Of course I am! Hehe.” He cleared his throat. “So, um. Yea. Guess I’ll see you later then?”

“Sure.” Thae replied with a warm smile. He continued to make his way to the kitchen, and waved to the strange boy with the large helmet named Onett, who was sitting on the ground in the corner of the room, snacking on a blueberry bagel with cream cheese spread atop it with his left hand, as his right hand moved energetically from left to right across his paper.

Realizing Thae was approaching, he looked up and waved. “Hey Thae, what’s up.” He said with a somewhat deep voice, tinted by a nasally tone.

“Hey Onett.” Thae replied.

He stood by Onett and watched him move his pen up and down, and left to right with immense speed.

“So what’re you doing?” Asked Thae. After a few seconds of no reply, he quickly added, “You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to.”

“Uh, sorry for not responding right away, I was sorta invested in this thing.” He pointed at the notepad that he was writing on, with his pen. “I’m trying to write a story, but I really don’t have a plan for it so far. Its called Tale of Two Teams.” He said with an urgency in his voice.

“That’s cool.” Thae replied.

“Thanks man.” Onett quickly replied.

Onett immediately got back to work, and Thae stood there awkwardly, and stared at him for a few more seconds before leaving and saying, “Well, I guess I’ll see you later then.”

Thae began to walk away after a few seconds without response and quickly turned around at the sound of Onett’s voice. “Yup, see you later man, bye.” Onett said with his eyes still locked on his paper. He quickly dropped his pen to wave Thae goodbye, then immediately got back to work.

Thae passed more people as he inched his way closer and closer to the kitchen. He waved to people as he passed them.

He waved to Patrick, who was sitting in a comfy leather chair, staring at the ground blankly, with a glum look on his face. His eyes were bloodshot and half shut. It was quite obvious; he was as high as a kite.

“Hi Patrick.” Thae said as he strolled by.

Patrick kept staring at the ground gloomily, but waved his paw weakly at Thae. He murmured weakly, “Hello.”

Some more people waved to Thae as he walked passed them. Thae spotted Ultra, who was sitting at a coffee table by the kitchen, which was covered with empty mugs.

As Thae passes by him, Ultra energetically greeted him.“Ay! Thae! Nice to see ya, how ya doin’ this mornin?!’” Ultra said with a cheerful, yet deep and gravelly voice as he emptied the contents of multiple mugs of coffee and laundry soap into his mouth.

“I’m doing just fine Ultra. See ya later today during training!” Thae replied, a bit grossed out by the fact that Ultra was drinking soap as if it were a milkshake.

Ultra quickly chugged another cup of joe, closed his mouth door, then quickly waved Thae goodbye and said, “A’ight! See ya later mate!”

Thae waved back. “Goodbye.” He said.

Thae had almost reached the kitchen, but encountered Noodles, who was leaning on the kitchen counter, feasting on multiple bowls of instant ramen. After noticing Thae, Noodles quickly put down his bowl for a second and saluted Thae. Thae put his plate down on the gray, marble, countertop for a second, saluted back, then walked the homestretch to the sink, where he placed his empty bowl. He delicately placed his bowl in the sink, rinsed it out with water, and waved hello to a couple more people as he made his way to a cozy leather arm chair.

And so, Thae sat alone with his thoughts, fantasizing about the tournament. He yawned and his eyelids grew heavy, and began to close his eyes to rest. A few seconds later, he found himself lost in the land of dreams.

Thae opened his eyes, and was bombarded by harsh white stadium lights. He blinked quickly to adjust himself to the brightness, then began to look around. Screams and cheers of people flooded the arena, as Thae curiously looked around. He spotted the members of Team NP, and he even saw himself amongst their ranks. They stood in attention stance, head held up high and hands by their sides; each of them, armed with a unique combination of tools and weaponry.

They stood completely still in a sturdy, and somewhat large wooden fort. It was mostly open, with both a cave entrance, and a built-in wooden entrance as well. A large, red package of explosives labeled “TNT” sat atop a natural cliff, which was built into the fort. A few ladders and stairs lead up to the level which contained the bomb, as well wooden platforms leading to 2 towers.

Before Thae could finish his analysis, a booming voice came down from above. “Laaadies, and gentlemen. Are you ready for the annual Red Warfare tournament?!”

The announcer’s question was met with an orchestra of cheers, screams and approval.

“Yeah!”

“Woo!”

“Let’s go!”

“I've been waiting for this all year!”

Their voices quickly died down, and all was silent.

The announcer continued to hype up the audience. “Get yourselves cozy ‘cause things are gonna get messy! There will be bloodshed! There will be violence! There will be intensity! Now! Ladies and germs, on the red team, we have… Team NP!”

The mention of the name was met with few cheers and claps. Thae tried to clap, but only at this moment realized that his body was not there, and he was nothing but an invisible, harmless spectator.

Slightly embarrassed by the fact he did not know he was invisible the entire time, he set his gaze back to the ceiling, where the large booming voice came from. Harsh white light stung his eyes, so he used a hoof so he could see better.

Thae took a second to appreciate the architecture and the design of the stadium. The arena that the two teams occupied was realistic, and well designed. Two symmetrical wooden forts, containing a cave, three tall wooden towers, a tall, old, oak tree, along with a river at the center of it all, with three small bridges to cross from.

Stained, armored glass lined the perimeter of the arena, 20 feet above the ground floor of the arena, which Thae assumed contained the live audience.

Above the glass, was a steel stadium ceiling, alongside multiple racks containing lights and speakers, and a large, armored box with stained glass windows, which most likely contained the commentators.

Thae had not realized he had failed to listen to the commentator’s commentary, and was surprised when he heard a loud, and audible, “Go!”

He watched the members of Team NP rollout, and prepare for battle. They all charged as a unit. Noodles, Carson, and Pony acted as frontlines, armed with heavy armor and automatic plasma rifles with built in bayonets. Behind them were the rest of the members, each of which wielded a strange array of weapons and gadgets, which Thae couldn't exactly understand the purpose of.

Thae followed behind the team, watching them charge from the fort to the river, where the battle would take place. To Thae’s dismay, the team decided to split their ranks, and Thae cringed as he watched them march into an unwinnable battle.

Thae was barely able to watch the members get mutilated, one by one, as the enemy ripped team NP to shreds.

A well placed RPG blew Carson to smithereens.

An explosive arrow ripped through Yolk’s body.

A silver bullet with the name Onett written on it found its target.

The list goes on.

Even though he wasn't part of the battle, Thae could still feel the excruciating pain his team members were feeling. He watched his friends die at the mercy of every single weapon known to mankind, until there was only one survivor left. And his name was Thaecrasis.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Thae watched himself attempt to reach cover. He spotted the man atop the enemy tower, notching an arrow, and letting it fly.

“Such a beautiful motion.” Thae said to himself as he watched the silver arrow spiral through the air, as graceful as a ballerina. He watched it spiral and spiral and spiral, until it hit his flesh, and made a satisfying thunk noise. He watched himself drop on the ground dead, blood pouring out the impact site of the arrow. Within minutes, their team had been defeated.

As the enemy team jumped with joy and celebrated, and the commentators were going wild in the booth, screaming at top of their lungs, the entire arena shook violently and Thae could faintly hear a voice yelling at him. He began to try to focus in on the voice, trying to interpret what the mysterious voice was saying.

Pandu vigorously shook Thae with his large panda arms. He screamed repeatedly, “Wake up Thae! Wake up Thae! Wake up!”

Thae remained asleep, but Pandu persisted. He continued to scream and shake Thae until he finally woke up after a couple dozen repetitions.

Thae finally awoke after Pandu’s 48th attempt. He rubbed his eyes, yawned grandly, and stretched, then scratched the back of his neck as he blinked repeatedly to adjust his eyes to the light.

Before Thae could fully wake up, Pandu grabbed his hoof, practically threw him off the chair and onto the ground, then proceeded to let go of his grasp on him.

Thae groaned, and Pandu lightly kicked Thae’s side and repeatedly said, “Come on Thae, you gotta wake up.”

After getting kicked in the ribs a couple of times, Thae groaned then finally mustered the energy to get up. Pandu grabbed Thae’s hoof once more, and began to drag him towards the metal door which lead to the exercise room.

Yet Thae already knew today would not be a regular old training day. He knew. It was the start of their group training. It was the end of the beginning. The beginning of the end.

 

 

 

 


	10. Waiting Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry i was gone but im back now

To Thae’s surprise, the training room which hid behind the firm metal door was no more, and instead was replaced by a small waiting room.  Pandu and Thae hurried to get inside, and he practically threw Thae into the room before getting in the room himself. Thae crashed into a row of uncomfortable, small plastic chairs with no cushioning, sending them flying in multiple directions as Pandu sprinted into the room and nearly ran Thae over. The second he made it into the room, the metal door behind them slammed shut, and the sounds of multiple locks engaging echoed in the small room.

 

The rest of the members were seated in the uncomfortable plastic chairs on the other side of the room, and stared at Thae and Pandu with concern. Thae stared back at them, and groaned as he got back onto his feet. Pandu panted heavily and wiped the sweat off his forehead. They both found a seat, and sat down. 

 

Pandu looked around the room excitedly, never keeping his focus on one thing for too long, while Thae examined the room closely.

 

It was just like a doctor’s office waiting room. The walls were lined with tiny uncomfortable plastic chairs without cushioning, an empty fish tank occupied the top right corner of the room, and the floor was made of cold, hard porcelain tiling. The walls were painted a relaxing shade of turquoise, and light purple fluorescent lights hung from the ceiling, which radiated soft, colored light.

 

After analyzing the room, Thae began eyeing the other members of Team NP one by one, reading their facial expressions, body posture, and involuntary mannerisms like a library book.

 

Ponyhidden was lying down across three chairs, with his hood on, snoring softly.

 

Noodles and Carson sat upright, staring at a spot in the wall with so much concentration they could burns holes through the wall by sheer willpower alone.

 

Onett was staring at the ground, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, holding prayer hands by his mouth, with a blank expression on his face.

 

Freddy was playing with his collar with his back against the chair, and his feet-

 

Thae’s train of thought halted to a screeching stop when the metal door in front of him suddenly opened and Chsn came out, wearing her usual police officer uniform, sunglasses, and cap. 

 

She stared at everyone in the room, with flinty eyes hidden behind her dark shades. 

 

She cracked a small smile and began to speak, with her somewhat baritone voice. “Hello members of Team NP. As you probably already know, my name is Chsn, and I’m the head of the defense department around here. It's a pleasure to meet you all again.” 

 

She paused and gave Pandu a cold stare for a few seconds, which Pandu responded to with a stare of his own.

 

Chsn cleared her throat, fixed her cap and sunglasses, then continued her speech. “I’m sure you’re all expecting today is the beginning of your group training, correct me if I'm wrong.”

 

Chsn paused for a second to give everyone the death stare, as if she was challenging them to try and oppose her. “Today will not be your first group training day, but rather a weapon distribution day. So with that said, please be good little boys and girls while you wait for your turn, okay? Thank you.”

 

She pulled out a notepad and pen, which were attached to her belt and began vigorously flipping through the pages, until she reached her desired destination. She stopped flipping, looked up, then looked back down on her paper. She pointed at Pandu and said, “You’re up first kid, follow me.”

 

Pandu slowly got up from his seat and strolled across the floor to the door, as he mumbled, “Okay.”

 

Chsn held the metal door located on the other side of the room open for Pandu, waited for him to enter, then delicately closed the door and locked it shut.

 

The instant the door closed, chatter filled the room, until it enveloped the room like a thick smoke.

 

“Man I wonder what weapon I’m gonna get!” Yolk told Thae excitedly. “Maybe a mace, or a claymore or a…. a gun sword!” Stars filled yolk’s eyes as he thought of wielding a gun sword and doing stupidly awesome lunges and feints like an anime character.

 

Ultra, who was sitting two seats away from him, rolled his eyes and mumbled, “Wow what a weeb.”

 

Yolk gave Ultra the evil eye then disengaged.

 

Thae tuned into another conversation which was taking place several seats away from him.

 

“I simply cannot contain my excitement for an event such as this.” Said Carson with monotone excitement. He was talking to nobody except himself. “Hooray. Hooray. Yay.” His face was completely neutral as he did laps around the waiting room with his arms held high, like he just finished a marathon.

 

Thae smiled in his seat as he thought of which weapon he would receive. He began to daydream as he subconsciously tuned into the side conversations the others were having.

 

“ _ I wonder which weapon I'll get. Maybe I'll get something that's a crossover of medieval and modern.”  _ Thae thought. “ _ That would be cool.” _

 

“Man I wonder what weapon I’ll get. Not a lot of weapons are built to be used to creatures without opposable thumbs, ya know what I'm sayin?” Ponyhidden told Noodles. Noodles wore his usual stoic face, and nodded solemnly as if Pony just explained to him the meaning of life, the universe and everything.

 

“ _ Hmmmm, Pony does bring up a good point. I don't have opposable thumbs. That could pose a threat to my pool of possible weapon choices.” _

 

“A’ight sorry Yolk, that was uncalled for.” Ultra said sheepishly.

 

“Nah it's cool man.” Yolk said.

 

“Okay cool.”

 

_ “Man I wonder what Pandu’s weapon is. Probably something really cool. Maybe it's a gun sword or something.” _

 

“Ya know, gun swords are really awesome.” Ultra said with his thick New York accent.

 

“Weeb.” Yolk said jokingly.

 

“Shut it, my friend.” Ultra said as he hit Yolk playfully.

 

Thae resumed his thinking session.  _ “Man I really regret not keeping up to date on the news and stuff. I know absolutely nothing about all the new military technology that's being developed.” _

 

“I want explosives and go boom!” Lex screamed excitedly at Freddy. “I go boom! Big boom!” He extended his arms out and high to represent an explosion. He proceeded to repeated yell out,”boom” as he crescendoed louder and louder until he couldn't get any louder

 

Freddy gave Lex a judging look as he gave him a slow nod.

 

After Lex finished screaming, he asked Freddy, “So what weapon do you want?”

 

“I dunno man. I haven't the slightest clue of what I want to get, you feel meh?” Freddy replied.

 

“I see.” Lex replied.

 

The chatter in the room quickly died down as people ran out of things to talk to, and they began to grow sick of each other. Slowly one by one, they were chosen by Chsn, and taken to whatever paradise lies behind the large metal door. 

 

“Carson, follow me.” 

 

“Yes. Okay.” Carson replies.

 

Thae lied down on the ground, bored out of his mind, and stared at the ceiling lights, which flickered spontaneously. He listened to the others get called as he continued to lay on the ground, waiting to get picked. The room is dead silent.

 

“Lex, you’re up next.”

 

“Okay.” Lex replies.

 

Thae gets up from the ground to see who was still left to be picked. He spotted Pony curled up into a ball, sleeping on top of the chairs with his dirty green hoodie on. Yolk was lying face down into the plastic chairs. The passing seconds felt like passing hours, as the ticking and tocking of the wall clock almost drove Thae to insanity. After few minutes, which felt like an hours, Chsn opened the door once more and said, “Yolk you’re next.” He groaned as he got up slowly from his slumber, got onto his feet and followed Chsn.

 

Another eternity later, she comes back. “Pony you’re next.”

 

Thae was all alone now. Nothing to keep him entertained, no one to keep him company. The clock continued to tick obnoxiously, as if it were taunting Thae. His eyes lock onto the clock and watch the second hand slowly move round and round. 

 

To entertain himself, Thae began to think of random philosophical thoughts to dwell on.

 

“ _ That clock is just a merry go round of life. Ever so majestic as it constantly moves, never stopping for anything. Although it may seem as if time is faster or slower, time stops for no one, but rather we stop for time. Man maybe this waiting room is what the afterlife is like. Maybe this is what being in limbo feels like. Going nowhere, doing nothing, just waiting. No way it’s like that. This must be hell. Eternal boredom, eternal dissatisfaction. Motivation to do nothing, except get out. Sure I’ll get out of here one of these days, but maybe hell is just like this but you never get out. I wonder if robot horses dream of robotic sheep. That’s a fun thou-” _

 

The slamming of the door against the wall snapped Thae out of his session of deep, pointless thought. Chsn knew Thae knew what was up, so she simply waved him over, and he followed obediently. Thae reached the doorway and peeked through it as he made his way towards Chsn, who was opening the door open for him. It was just a regular old hallway. Linoleum floor tiles, fluorescent lights, and beige walls. Thae stepped onto the Linoleum and Chsn closed the door behind them. They silently walked down the hallway to the steel door ahead of them, which Chsn hurried to reach first to open for Thae. With a quick swipe of a keycard, the door slowly opened, and Thae exited the waiting room.


End file.
